


Indirect Confession

by a_blue_secret



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, based off the thought that when you're crying you dont properly register what someone is saying, but idk if it's truly canon compliant bc i dont use any references, but it still is based around their real lives so idk, in that case maybe it's canon divergent?, taehyun is sad, this makes beomgyu sad too, written on a whim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29887833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_blue_secret/pseuds/a_blue_secret
Summary: A tired brain can lead to your brain-to-mouth filter disappearing. This is a known fact. When you're sad, and tired, words just spill out. It becomes an especially terrible situation when this happens, especially around your crush. That is a scenario to be avoided at all costs. Unfortunately for Taehyun, that was the exact situation he was in.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Indirect Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a little something I had half-written which I decided to finish, so here it is!
> 
> Some of the stuff Taehyun says is a lil dramatic, but remember that he's sad and stressed and a pining idiot, so he's allowed to be dramatic. Also, he's a crying mess so if he doesn't see that they basically confessed, please understand.
> 
> One more thing: towards the end, there's a korean phrase with an asterisk. Refer to the end note to see what it means.

It was the week leading up to their debut. Taehyun had been stressed that his dancing wasn’t as powerful as he wanted it to be, and had wanted to stay longer to perfect it. Now, this wasn’t to say the members weren’t also worried about their dancing, but Taehyun, ever the perfectionist, was even more paranoid than them. Beomgyu, also being the perfectionist he is, decided to stay behind too: to focus on his singing.

The arrangement worked out well. Beomgyu would sing while Taehyun danced, and both of them would just wordlessly practise, going over parts over and over again. It looked like it was going okay.

But it wasn’t. With each passing minute, Taehyun felt like he was slipping away. He could feel himself slipping. His energy was decreasing, his moves becoming robotic and stiff, and Beomgyu’s incredible vocals were making him doubt his own ability- at singing, dancing, everything. When he messed up the same part for the nth time, he was close to breaking down. Why wouldn’t his feet just work?? But he didn’t complain. He didn’t protest. He just wordlessly resumed the position, waiting for Beomgyu to sing the part again. No matter how lifeless he felt, he’d push on. He was doing fine. He was okay. Just get this part right, and he could go to sleep.

Beomgyu was also facing an internal struggle. He could see Taehyun close to breaking apart, and this seemed to mess with his concentration. When his voice cracked when he wasn’t paying attention, Beomgyu noticed the little flash of annoyance cross Taehyun’s face. He swallowed, and shook his head, trying to concentrate. But no matter how hard he tried, the notes didn’t come out as smoothly as he wanted them to. He wasn’t going to redo them, though. He’d already seen the irritation on Taehyun’s face when he’d messed up, and did not want to see that again. But with each note, Beomgyu wanted to cry. Taehyun was beautiful, had always been effortlessly beautiful, but he was pushing his body to the brink, trying too hard to achieve that elegance which should have come so naturally to him. And with Taehyun aggressively repeating the same bar over and over again, it was hurting Beomgyu’s heart and voice to see the boy look so defeated and determined at the same time. But he buried this hurt deep down, way down. He wasn’t going to cry. He was strong. It’d be okay. Let Taehyun finish, and they could go to sleep.

It wasn't okay.

Taehyun tripped. Right towards the end of the routine, out of fatigue-induced clumsiness, he tripped over his own feet and came crashing down to the floor in a crumpled heap. He faintly registered the sharp intake of breath behind him, and the sudden scrambling of alarmed feet approaching him. But he couldn't hear anything other than the erratic beating of his own heart and the deafening pounding of his thoughts in his head. It was too much; it was all too much. He slammed his fist against the floor, fingers clenched tight, willing himself not to cry.

_You're weak_ , the voice inside his head whispered. _Look at you, reduced to a pathetic, trembling heap on the floor. Look at you_. He shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts, but they persisted. _You're so ridiculous_ , it sneered. _Come on, look how feeble you are compared to the others– especially Beomgyu. You think you have a chance with him? Pfft. He's way too good for you._

He bit his lip, hard, trying to calm his breathing and prevent the tears from falling onto his cheeks. _Don’t cry, don't cry, don't cry._ It was like a mantra, repeating over and over in his head. While it should have been empowering, with each syllable Taehyun felt even more closer to breaking than before. His head was swimming. Everything was too much, nothing was real, no one loved him, he was going, going, going-

It was then that a hand gently wrapped itself around his trembling fist, warm and soft.

"Taehyun-ah? Are you okay?"

Beomgyu's voice reached Taehyun's ears, and he lifted his head up to look at the other boy. The roaring thoughts in his head quietened to a gentle mumble, as Taehyun found an anchor, a safe haven in Beomgyu’s warm brown eyes. He was brought back to reality for just a moment, but it was a shaky, grey world that he saw around him. The colours of the world had been dimmed. His own eyes were filled with unshed tears, and just one look at them had Beomgyu's begin to well up as well. His eyes followed Taehyun's worriedly, as the younger flailed to find the words to express how he felt.

"Hyung…" Taehyun's voice was filled with hopelessness and it broke as he said his next words. "I can't do this."

Taehyun saw something shatter in his hyung's eyes at these words. Beomgyu roughly scooped Taehyun up into his arms, hugging him tightly. The sudden warmth, along with the unexpectedness of the action, made Taehyun finally burst into tears.

"I- I'm so weak," he whispered between sobs. "I'm so pathetic. So pathetic. You shouldn't be looking after me. I'm not worth your time."

Up until now, Beomgyu thought he'd been doing okay with holding back his tears. But after Taehyun had said those words, he couldn't hold them in any longer. His lips trembled from the force of keeping in his tears before he finally felt the drops slip down his cheeks, faster and faster until they flowed like waterfalls.

"Taehyun-ah," he cried, holding the younger boy tighter and rocking him back and forth. There were lots of things he wanted to say, but all he was capable of at the moment was just repeating the other's name again and again, like a mantra. "Taehyun-ah, Taehyun-ah, Taehyun-ah…"

Taehyun didn't say anything, just buried himself into Beomgyu's chest and cried even harder.

"Hyung… Beomgyu-hyung…" He gripped the boy's shirt tightly, using it to anchor him to the real world. He cried with everything he had, taking comfort in the way Beomgyu had his arms wrapped securely around him. Soon, his tears died down to shaky breaths and the occasional hiccup. It was only when Beomgyu adjusted his grip and let Taehyun bury his face in his neck that Taehyun realized- the reason his crying had died down so quickly was because Beomgyu-hyung had been there to comfort him. The thought made him want to cry again. Beomgyu shouldn't have had to look after someone as weak as Taehyun. He shouldn't have to.

It was then that Taehyun registered that Beomgyu was still sobbing softly. Head resting against his shoulder, he was holding onto Taehyun's waist tightly as his tears continued to pour out. The thought that Beomgyu was crying because of Taehyun made him feel like an awful person.

"Hyung…" he whispered hesitantly. "Don't… don't cry…"

In response, Beomgyu just started crying harder, gripping the younger's waist tighter. The action caused Taehyun's heart to hiccup, but he ignored it and focused on trying to untangle Beomgyu from him.

"Hyung… please… let go…"

But Beomgyu just shook his head. "N-no… please, let- let me hug you… please, Taehyunnie…"

Oh my god, Beomgyu-hyung. Taehyun's heart stuttered yet again at the nickname. He weakly tried to push Beomgyu again. But the older boy shook his head, his clenched hands shaking around his waist. At a loss as to what to do, Taehyun just clutched onto his hyung’s shoulders and let him cry for as long as he needed to.

It was only a few minutes later, however, that Taehyun’s heart couldn’t take Beomgyu’s sobs anymore.

“Hyung, please,” he begged, voice cracking with desperation. Fresh tears began springing into his eyes as he saw how devastated his hyung was. In response, Beomgyu just shook his head and clung onto the younger even tighter. He didn’t say anything, just took deep, shaky breaths. He buried his face even further into Taehyun’s neck, and the younger felt like his heart was going to combust from the simple action.

"Please… I need you…"

He what?

"I need you, Taehyunnie… please…" Beomgyu sniffled. Taehyun sighed, closing his eyes. Very slowly and subtly, he buried his wet eyes into the elder’s fluffy hair, hoping it would dry his own tears which were starting to form. They stayed like that for a while longer, until Beomgyu’s breaths started to even out and his tears started to dry. He relaxed his grip a little so that he wasn't trying to strangle Taehyun's body anymore. "I need you more than you know. I want you to stay." He took a shuddering breath, lifting his head off of Taehyun's shoulders to look at him in the eyes. Though they were wet and bloodshot from crying, he still looked beautiful. "I- I like you… A lot, Taehyunnie."

Taehyun felt his own eyes well up as well. He gripped Beomgyu's shoulders with trembling fingers, and he shook his head vigorously.

"No… you can't like me. I'm not good enough. I like you too much for you to eventually leave me because you realized you deserve better. Because you do. You deserve someone better than me."

"Don't you understand?" Beomgyu looked at Taehyun with his tear-stained eyes. He couldn't quite put his finger on what emotion was shining in his hyung's eyes, but it made his stomach flip and his breath catch in his throat. "I don't care that you think I deserve better. Because I don't. Why?" Beomgyu's intense, piercing gaze softened. "Because there is no one better than you." Taehyun's doe eyes widened, lips trembling slightly. A light flared in his eyes, but it quickly dimmed as he shook his head again.

"No you don't understand. There are so many people out there who are better than me, stronger than me, more fit for you than me."

"But I still want you," Beomgyu said softly. "You're one of my bestest friends, Taehyun-ah. You're stuck with me forever, whether you like it or not."

"But I'm broken. I'm hurt so bad, nothing can fix me."

*"괴로움 멈춰라 마수리 수리," Beomgyu sang, a small smile gracing his features as he looked fondly at the younger. "I'll fix you. Don't worry."

Taehyun shook his head. "You won't care about me enough to fix me. No one ever does."

Beomgyu sighed a little at Taehyun's words, heart breaking as he took in Taehyun's small, defeated frame. He lifted a hand from Taehyun's waist to gently rub a thumb against his cheek as he delicately wiped away tears from the boy's big, brown eyes, letting his hand linger for a few seconds longer. "I will," he said. "I promise, I will. I care about you a lot, Taehyunnie. Like, so much. I like you too much to walk away when you're broken," he promised.

"But I like you too much for you to have to deal with me," Taehyun said, though he leaned into Beomgyu's tender caresses. "I like you more than is good for me," he said to himself. He closed his eyes, letting Beomgyu stroke his cheek for a little longer, committing the tender action to memory. Then he abruptly pulled away, ripping himself out of Beomgyu's arms.

"Taehyunnie, where are you going?”

"Come on, let's go hyung," he said curtly. "We should go back to the others." He turned his head away, trying to hide how tired and weak he actually looked behind his sharp voice. Beomgyu wasn't fazed. He let out a scoff, before tutting at Taehyun's actions.

"Nuh uh, you're not going to act like that." Beomgyu said firmly. He grabbed Taehyun's wrist and pulled the younger back. His arm immediately wrapped itself around his waist. When Taehyun squeaked and hesitantly tried to untangle himself, he only held tighter. Taehyun weakly tried to protest, trying to tell him that Beomgyu's arm around him felt suffocating and too tight. (No, the action did not make butterflies burst into life inside Taehyun's stomach. No way.)

Beomgyu simply waved away his words. "No, it doesn't feel suffocating to you, Taehyun. Because despite your words, you're leaning into me, aren't you? Don't be shy. I know you're really awkward and stuff, but I'll protect you; don't worry."

Taehyun flushed and tried to protest again, saying he didn't need to be protected and didn't want to have to depend on someone right now, but Beomgyu shushed him.

"Shush. You were crying- you have a right to be dependent on someone right now."

"You were crying too, hyung," Taehyun said.

"Which is why you're going to have your arm around me as well." Beomgyu wrapped Taehyun's arm around his own shoulders. "See? That's not so bad. Let's go back to the dorm."

The two of them walked back home and stumbled through the front door, still in each other's arms. They were too tired to say anything, bidding each other a sleepy goodnight (and an impulsive goodnight kiss on the forehead from Beomgyu). It was only after they'd both collapsed into their respective beds that they realized- they'd just indirectly confessed. Could they… possibly… like each other back?

**Author's Note:**

> *괴로움 멈춰라 마수리 수리: lyrics from CROWN. Translates to 'Stop the suffering, abracadabra'. I thought it fit the situation, so I put it in!
> 
> Thank you for reading this! The ending is kinda ambiguous, but I like it so I'm gonna keep it like that :)
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://a-blue-secret.tumblr.com) and [twt](http://twitter.com/a_blue_secret?s=09) as well :)
> 
> (ps: I don't post my works on twt bc they don't rlly get noticed so there's no point. However, if enough ppl want a certain fic on my twt, I might be able to see what I can do!)


End file.
